The Sting of a Man

I was five years old when I first got stung. Vividly, I remember my mother picking me up from school in her apple red corvette. I was anticipating the moment I'd be able to share the events of my day with her. I walked to her car with my head hung low and tears in my eyes. After throwing my backpack at the foot of the passenger seat, plopping down and crossing my arms with my bottom lip poked out the tears started to fall. She had a look of concern on her face and asked, "Baby, what's wrong." Through a cracking voice and sniffles I replied, "Chase dumped me." She instantaneously said, "And...mommy has gotten dumped plenty of times so wipe your tears because he'll be back." I didn't know if she was right or not, but she said it with so much conviction that I was compelled to believe her and so I did. The next week Chase had dumped the girl he left me for and was chasing me around the playground again just like mommy said.

Not much has changed between the mentality of five year old Chase and the grown men many women encounter today. It seems that the game of cat and mouse keep the interest and excitement in a relationship, but when does the chasing become tiring? Someone usually runs out of breath (women) and is hunching over to catch a second wind, but the decision is whether to continue running or gracefully bow out of the race. I'm finding that it isn't only single people who are in a race to obtain the love they may deeply long for, it's people who are exclusive as well. An old friend once told me, "Trudi, the game is over for you because you have a man, you're not out here looking for one." While that may be true, I am still in that race trying to avoid complacency, not compromising who I am and essentially having a balance of fulfillment in my life between the relationship I have with myself and my man.

The sting of a man is inevitable and like these two women illustrate above, men can have you cheesing and full of joy or peeking through the dark not wanting to show your face, but with the right guy, somehow, even in the darkness of growing pains it's worth it. My man once told me, "We chase y'all until we get caught." I'm still in the race, haven't caught him yet, but I think I'm pretty close.